Unlocking Self-Love: Embracing your authentic self

“Love yourself” is a statement we’ve all heard at some point—something we’ve tried to do, but probably found isn’t as easy as it sounds, especially after spending years not doing it. It’s so much easier to believe you’re not lovable because that’s what the world has been reflecting back to you. But have you ever considered that the reason the world reflects a lack of love to you is because you believe you’re not worth it?

Then one day, you decide, Okay, I am going to believe I am loved and lovable, but the outside world still doesn’t change. You start questioning: If I am loved and lovable, why does the world still seem to show me the opposite? This is a dilemma many people face. I’d like to believe this happens because, as much as you keep telling yourself you are “loved,” you don’t fully believe it.

If so, have you ever considered that feeling unlovable might be a way of protecting yourself? If you already believe you are worthy of love, no one can come along and make you feel otherwise. But when you doubt your own worth, it becomes easier to use that doubt as a shield—convincing yourself it’s safer to expect rejection than to risk believing in love.

Now, reason with me—what if you believed that you are actually worth it? That love is your potion? That you are the one in charge of giving love to yourself? Drill this belief into yourself so much, not expecting love from outside yourself but depending on getting it from within and from God.

Any situation that affirms your previous belief that you are not lovable is just an external occurrence—a passing event that doesn’t define you. You define yourself in the moment. If you knock over your morning coffee and it spills all over your kitchen counter, you clean it up and decide whether to make another cup or go on with your day without coffee. You don’t obsess over it, identifying yourself as someone who always knocks over their coffee.

It is the same with deciding you are loved and lovable. If a negative experience comes through, deal with it in the moment and then let it go. Don’t use it to define yourself. Define yourself in the moment—choose who you are and affirm it to yourself each time you think of it. There could be so many positive experiences throughout your day, but because you have trained yourself to see the negatives, that is what your brain keeps note of. Learning how to love yourself unconditionally means shifting your focus to what nurtures and uplifts you.

Loving yourself doesn’t depend on others loving you. It also doesn’t depend on how others treat you. It’s about you giving yourself the love you desire—not relying on others to make you feel worthy. You decide that you are love itself. Pour love into yourself and others genuinely, believing in God to provide you with the love you need from outside yourself. God didn’t create you as an unlovable person; the world and your experiences made you believe that.

Pray and ask God to let an endless amount of love flow to you. Work consciously to change your beliefs . You might find yourself falling into old patterns and beliefs from time to time, but what matters is that whenever you realize it, you make a decision to do something different. Would you rather spend a year working to love yourself and changing your beliefs, or spend the rest of your life feeling unworthy? Both are hard—choose your hard.

With time, you will start making decisions that align with being loved and lovable, subconsciously. It might be hard at first, but eventually, it will be as easy as breathing, and you will reap the fruits of your hard work for the rest of your life. 

The mistake we make is setting conditions for loving ourselves—I will love myself when I succeed, when I become fit. Stop being mean to yourself. Would you accept that treatment from another person? Learn to love yourself without any cause—just because you do. Know that, in any situation, no matter what happens, you have yourself. Everybody could turn their backs on you, but you still have you. How does it benefit you if, the moment someone turns their back on you, you do the same? Be the person you can always fall back on, no matter what.

There are so many benefits to loving yourself:

• You will make decisions that align with who you are, not who is around and what they want.
• You will be okay with being rejected by others since you know you deserve genuine love and relationships. Anyone who rejects you simply isn’t capable of giving you what you deserve.
• You get to know yourself—what you like, what you don’t like, your strengths, your flaws, what you can change, and what to accept unconditionally.
• You learn that being authentically yourself and loving this authentic self is the best thing you could do for yourself and those around you.
• You understand what kind of treatment to accept from others and when and how to draw boundaries.

Ready to Start Your Self-Love Journey?

Loving yourself is a process, and sometimes, we need guidance along the way. If you’re looking for structured ways to grow, here are two great resources to help you:

💙 Therapy Can Be a Game-Changer – Sometimes, we need deeper support to heal and break old patterns. If you’re struggling and need professional guidance, OnlineTherapy.com provides online therapy with licensed professionals who can guide you on your journey to self-love. Click HERE to sign up and get 20% off your first month.

Self-love isn’t a destination—it’s a practice. You are worthy, and you are capable of rewriting your story. Start today. 

Disclaimer: This post contains affiliate links, which means I may earn a commission if you sign up through my links—at no extra cost to you. I only recommend services I genuinely believe in.